Freedom of Expression...?

So, in spirit of Black Tuesday, I thought I would share this interesting little snack.

Did you know: In Pakistan there is actually a LIST of words that the Pakistan Telecommunications Authority has reported as offensive and are having banned from telephone messages. The list is already at an alarming content of roughly 1600 words!!!

So…. If you are planning a sunny, sandy fun-filled vacation in Pakistan in the near future, take PRK’s advice and refrain from adding some of the following VULGAR and OFFENSIVE words in your text messages:

Intercourse

Breast

Period

Flatulence

Strap-on

Beat your meat

Crotch rot

Love pistol

Pocket pool

Deposit

Quickie

Monkey crotch

**(Lord, it’s like my entire SMS vocabulary… but carrying on)**

Wuutang

Jesus Christ

Condom

Glazed donut  (no, I am not making this shit up)

The list just keeps growing…. I believe some of the latest additions now include “gay”, “lesbian”, “Fairy” and “homosexual”.

Stupidity…. It truly never ceases to amaze me.

PRK

With Great Love Comes Great Responsibility

Does love really ensure monogamy? …..  more importantly, SHOULD it?

What do the words “I love you” really translate as?

I only want you and nobody else?
You are the only person I am physically attracted to?
You can trust me to never do anything that will hurt you?
Relax, I am never going to feel this way about anybody else ever again?

No…. “I love you” simply means that, just that. I have strong feelings for you. Right now. The person I am now is in love with the person you are now. Whether that feeling lasts or not is out of our hands in the long run because we have no control over the future.

Why does loving someone come with all this extra responsibility? We start expecting so many things from someone the moment that fateful confession is made, and then wonder what went wrong when it’s over.

He loves me, so he will accept everything about me no matter how much I change. He loves me, so he will always put me first – above everyone and everything.……….He loves me, so he will never have any reason to leave me……….. He loves me, so he will never cheat……

Here is the universal truth – Even assholes fall in love. And it does not change them.

Why should it? STOP EXPECTING IT TO!!

Suddenly developing feelings for someone leaves us feeling terrified that we aren’t going to live up to the standard that has been set by society. That we have to change aspects of who we really are JUST to get it right.

No, Love has to become a committed relationship stuffed with rules – which in turn has to become a marriage (because, really, according to the Pattern, what else is the point)….. which then just adds to the pressure of starting a family, the logical next step, not?

Everybody is different, so why should everybody love in the same way?

Why isn’t Love itself just enough for anyone?

PRK

Videotaped in front of a Live Studio Audience

Do you ever feel as though you are living your life on an imaginary stage? Like there is some unseen audience waiting in anticipation to see how you are going to react to a situation that has been carefully planned out?

Now, don't panic!! Those of you who know me personally know that I am not religious, so I am not taking this down THAT route. Fret not, brethren.

Sometimes there are scenarios that are just tooooo perfectly timed. I, personally, live for those moments.

I was sitting at my desk the other day, and the most APPALLING radio station was selected by my (very Capetonian) colleague. As a terrible throng of music came wailing out of the radio, including Cher (Believe) - Greg sticks his head out of his office and shouts --- "What!? Is it the Lesbian Power Half Hour out there today?"

And, as if to confirm his statement, "I'm Every Woman" starts playing.

....

........

A brief silence pursued, followed by outrageous laughter.

As I said... tooooo perfect! Here's wishing you all as many of these moments as you can handle.


PRK

Jou Ma!!!!!

Yesterday, after work, I took a walk to the shops on the corner and was bustling up and down getting food and movies. As I was walking along the pavement to pick up my take-ways, the two car guards that stand there every day got into a loud fight (Coloured man and woman, each sporting what in SA is fondly referred to as pap-bek.... and nobody wears those QUITE as comically as they do here in Cape Town!)

I had only just turned my full attention to this animated pair, when *ZIP* the man BOLTS out into the street running away from her, only barely avoids getting hit by a car and turns around in her direction with a large toothless grin and gives a little jig(The tune for Nya nya nya nya NYAAAAAAAA NYAAA!!!!! comes to mind).

I was watching him with wild amusement when his dance was abruptly cut short by an object FLYING towards him and straight past his head! A pole, about a metre long. This rapidly changed his jig into..... yes..... more running.

After that... I am going to be ALOT more cautious when saying No to her requests for small change.... I may be impaled from behind....

What a way to go...

PRK

Half a Century of Classic Awesomeness

So my lovely sister is here from Johannesburg this for her THIRTIETH birthday. It also just so happens that our younger brother turns TWENTY in three days…… Why am I starting to feel like the only unplanned child here…..hmmmmmm…… moving on!!

To celebrate these two big birthdays I will be hosting a sleepover at my flat for the three of us and the plan is to go out on a good old-fashioned bender. The good thing about the Supermodel City is that it is still pretty safe to walk home from the pub at 3am and not be constantly prepared to break into a run to avoid a gang ass-raping. (bonus)

This will be the first time the three of us are out drinking together, strangely. I see some hugely hilarious events coming up that I will (by obligation) be bringing onto these bloggy blog pages….. stay tuned.

For now though…. Let me get soppy for one moment and say a combined Happy Birthday to them both. The strongest, funniest pair of bastards I know. Let’s make this the hugest party celebrating the funkiest combined 50 years…. I promise to keep the blackmail photos to a minimum.
Love you both – yes, I am using the word Love here.

PRK